Cooperation, it is the act of working together for one end, this valuable skill is important for social/emotional development.  Research shows that the more alternatives children can think of the more likely they are to display socially acceptable behavior.  Elizabeth Crary in her book Kids Can Cooperate asserts that there are three motives why children don’t cooperate.  They are attention, power, and companionship, and she details six strategies for dealing with them.

1.  Give each child some special time each day.

2.  Teach children to ask for attention constructively.

3.  Recognize children as individuals.

4.  Teach children how to negotiate.

5.  Structure the environment to reduce conflict.

6.  Visualize children as competent and caring.

Infants: Time & Individuality – Elizabeth Crary says that “Research shows 20 minutes of attention per day can dramatically reduce whining and aggressive behavior.”  This special time should occur on a regular basis, and be one-to-one with each infant.  Adults need to view each infant as an individual with their own personality.

Toddlers: Attention & Environment – To develop cooperative play adults should teach

toddlers how to enter play environments without causing a disruption. Because of their egocentric nature, toddlers are often unaware of how others feel.  Teach them to ask for help from an adult.  This way they can get attention from both the other children and adult.  It may also be helpful to restructure the environment.  This can be done by removing toys, if they are being fought over, adding toys that are highly desired, or changing the way things are arranged.  By the way, don’t change it too often because both infants and toddlers like stable environments.  It makes them feel secure.

Preschoolers: Negotiation & Competency – Adults should encourage negotiations between children.  Elizabeth Crary states that “Research shows that the ability to generate problem solving ideas in a social situation was not related to I.Q., general creativity, verbal agility or sex of the child.  Some children discover how to negotiate on their own, others do not…”  She feels that approaches to problem solving can be taught.  They are: (1) gather data, (2) define the problem, (3) generate alternatives, (4) evaluate alternatives and consider the consequences, (5) make a decision which encourages solutions where everyone wins.  Part of a child’s sense of competency comes from an understanding of the rules.  This includes the family rules, the class rules and society’s rules and knowing the consequences when those rules are broken.  Things can run relatively smoothly when rules are clearly stated and consistently enforced.  But it’s hard to know what is expected when the rules are unclear, changed frequently or are inconsistently enforced.  Life is a process of growth where wisdom and maturity develop from experiences.  The more positive experiences children have the better their chances of success.

PAIN AND DIFFICULTIES ARE LEARNING OPPORTUNITIES.