B.F. Skinner, a well-known behavioral psychologist from Harvard University, believed in the “stimulus and response” theory.  He felt that “actions that get attention get repeated.”  He found, through his experiments, that behavior is affected by its consequences.  Using “positive reinforcement” can encourage appropriate behavior.  Parents and teachers can effectively use this strategy as a way to get children to do what is wanted without having conflict, but he also found that the reward (praise) had to be specific and that it should not be given continuously but intermittently.

Infants: Esther Thelen, a neurobiologist at Indiana University in Bloomington, stated that, “The brain is a self-organizing system.  Experience in the first year of life lays the basis for networks of neurons that enable us to be smart, creative and adaptable in all the years that follow.”  I feel by using the nursery rhyme “Little Jack Horner” parents and teachers can emphasize to infants that they are special and loved.

Toddlers: Toddlers have to establish themselves as separate people who can make some decisions and who can live with some freedom. They are learning to balance feelings of dependence and needing to be cared for, and the need to be independent or separate.  Still using “Little Jack Horner” play a variation of the old “Duck, Duck, Goose” game.  Have children sit in a circle as the pie.  “Jack” walks around it, and chooses a “Plum” who chases him around the pie.  As “Jack” sits down he becomes a “Plum” and the plum he has chosen now is the new “Jack.”  This now allows the toddler to have the independent power of choice.

Preschoolers: While I try to encourage children to become more self-confident in my book Teaching with Heart… they can’t do this all on their own.  They need the help of both their teachers and parents. Children need to be taught that the brain is a muscle and that giving it a harder workout makes you smarter. Tell children not that they are “smart” but that you “like how they keep trying.”  As adults make praise more specific, rather than general praise like “you’re great,” specific praise will do more to help build self-confidence in children because it send the message that they can improve even further.  Always try to remember the old adage “If at first you don’t succeed try, try again.”

NurtureShock, a book by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, states that “A person who grows up getting too frequent rewards (i.e. praise) will not have the persistence, because they’ll quit when the rewards disappear.”  Dr. Bronson found that he himself had become a praise junkie saying “You’re great-I’m proud of you” as a way to expressed his unconditional love for his child, but he found that using focused (specific) praise he could help his child to see strategies that could be applied later on his own.