Stress is defined as anything that causes tension and anxiety. It occurs when needs are not being met. Adults should focus their energies on the child’s emotional security, and attempt to establish a safe dependable climate of belonging and self-esteem.

Stress reactions in children are: (1) Physical Reactions – child get red in the face. (2) Emotional Reactions – child cries. (3) Cognitive Reactions – child withdraws. (4) Behavioral Reactions – child hits another child. Many childcare professionals have become concerned about the increased levels of stress they are seeing in children. A negative emotional atmosphere can adversely affect children. If adults let themselves get angry the messages they send to children are unhappiness, danger, and lack of control.

Children who are stressed often overreact and argue. Usually they are very emotional. Some suffer from nightmares or have trouble sleeping. Others keep their emotions inside and complain about stomachaches and headaches. Dealing with stress takes ingenuity, because not all children react in the same way.

Infants: The Soothing Approach: Music, quiet time together, low lights, and lots of hugging. A peaceful atmosphere suggests security and control. Make a real effort to start each morning happy. Researchers have found that adults have a compelling effect on children starting when they are infants. Even though they are not verbal, they are very sensitive to their environment and notice when adults are angry or upset.

Toddlers: Appropriate Choices: Don’t give toddlers too many choices or choices that are not age appropriate. Toddlers can usually only handle two choices. An example might be “Do you want to put your hat on or do you want me to put your hat on?” Because toddlers can’t communicate well their reactions to what they see and hear, many adults think that they are too young to understand. Adults often think what they say or do will not have a significant impact, but toddlers understand more than you think they can.

Preschoolers: Set Goals and Limits: Help children set reasonable goals for themselves. Cut down on TV and movie violence. Research has shown that children who witness aggression have increased blood pressures, react more strongly, and are more likely to act out. This includes parental violence; children who see their parents fight may themselves fight more. Try to find safe appropriate ways to express yourselves.

Positive Strategies:
Show Affection: Use physical contacts like a hug, a smile, or a pat on the head.
Smile Often: Show positive feelings on your face toward the child.
Express Pride: Tell children in words (I love you.) when you’re feeling good about them.
Make Praise Specific: Compliment activities not the child. (Good job cleaning up.)
Develop Routines: Children are more secure if they know what is going to happen next.

Be a good role model: Children will do what you do.