Drs. Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson write in their book The Whole-Brain Child…12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind “that an integrated brain with parts that cooperate in a coordinated and balanced manner creates a  better understanding of self, stronger relationships, and success in school, among other benefits.”

Infants: Increase the Fun – Follow the infants lead and just play by tickling, laughing, and loving.  Stack things up and let the infant knock them down.  Help them to develop their large and small muscle coordination by letting them bang on pots and pans with wooden spoons or give them tennis balls to put inside and take out of the pots.  Drs. Siegel and Bryson suggest that adults should focus on and tune into very young children so that they can create positive expectation about what it means to love and be in a loving relationship which helps strengthens not only their security but their self-esteem.

Toddlers: Engage, Don’t Enrage – Drs. Siegel and Bryson state “Nobody likes to be told no, and it’s especially ineffective strategy to use too often with toddlers.  When possible, avoid outright power struggles with your little one.  Save your no for when you really need it.  The next time you hear yourself beginning to forbid her from hitting the mirror with the stick, stop… Instead (say): Let’s go outside. What could you do with that stick in the yard.”  My own  thoughts are that you should always tell children what to do – not what not to do.

Preschoolers: Name it to Tame it – Whether it’s a “small-t or big-T trauma, you can have preschoolers make their own storybooks.  When they write their own story the act of the writing process makes children feel what they have to say is important.  If the  preschoolers can’t write, have them dictate the story to an adult and then they can  illustrate it with drawings or photos.  It’s especially important so that children can make sense of what’s going on – to put things in order so they can understand, deal with and communicate their experiences.  Keep the storybooks in the library.  This act of making their own book helps children see the big picture by using their own words.

Drs. Siegel and Bryson believe that children need to use both hemispheres of their brains. The left side which helps them think logically and organizes thoughts into sentences, and the right side that helps them experience emotions and read nonverbal cues.  By using the above strategies adults can help children integrate both hemispheres and feel more in control of their lives.

Biology gives you a brain.  Life turns it into a mind.        (Jeffrey Eugenides)