Behavior modification began in the twenties with the Russian scientist, Pavlov who trained dogs to salivate when they heard a bell ring because they knew they were going to be fed.  An important American behaviorist was Harvard Professor B.F. Skinner who conditioned animals when each time they did a trick they were reinforced with food.

A reinforcer is the equivalent of a reward.  Positive reinforcements everyone can use are attention and praise, but in order for these reinforcements to be effective, they must be delivered immediately after the behavior, and consistently.  Punishment can also be a reinforcer, but a negative reinforcer.  Skinner said that using punishment might cause side effects difficult to control, such as negative feelings.  Think of how you felt when you were punished. (Angry, violent, rebellious, sad, embarrassed, ashamed, revengeful)

If children are misbehaving there is a good chance they may be getting some payoff for their bad behavior.  Getting attention for misbehavior is better than getting no attention at all.  Many people use “time out” for children with challenging behaviors, but this is a negative reinforcer.  In “time-out” the child is removed from the situation and sent to another part of the room, or put on a chair for a few minutes.  Often they sit there and plot their revenge.  Many times children are handled wrong.  Payoffs for behavior are delivered backward.  Children are punished for bad behavior instead of being rewarded for good behavior.  Many studies have found that punishment is ineffective in suppressing undesirable behaviors, and over the long haul simply fail.

Infants: Temper Tantrums – Adults need to understand that some inappropriate behaviors should be ignored as long the children are not in danger of hurting themselves. Say “I can’t hear you while you are crying.  If you want me, you have to stop crying and come over here so I can help you.”

Toddlers: First Work, Then Play – This rule is often violated by adults.  This principle is effective on challenging behaviors because it makes children take responsibility for their actions.  It encourages positive behaviors by providing reinforcement when they do what’s expected to be done, and withholding reinforcement when they don’t.  “When you pick up all the blocks then we will go outside.”

Preschoolers: Don’t Tell Children What Not To Do – The best reward is attention.  Reward good behaviors, this includes even little things.  Be especially aware of children’s thoughtfulness, and their ability to share or when they are nice to another child.  The best punishment is the lack of attention.  This depends on the circumstances and if it is not dangerous for the children, let them take the consequences of their acts.  Often it is better to ignore poor behavior (especially in a child that has been often reprimanded) and try to find good behavior to reward.  Remember don’t tell children what not to do instead tell them what to do.  Not “Don’t run.” instead say “Let’s take giant steps to go outside.”

Letting children know that they are doing the job correctly is extremely important.

Use verbal praise:  “You put all the pieces in the right place in the puzzle.”

Use non-verbal praise:  Smile, thumbs up, wink.

Use positive touch:  Hugs, pat on the back or on top of the head.

TO CHANGE EVERYTHING, SIMPLY CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE.