Rudolph Dreikurs felt that all misbehavior stems from one of four underlying motives: attention, power, revenge, and helplessness. To change undesirable behavior, instead of using rewards and punishments he endorsed the use of encouragement and logical consequences.

Infants: Developing Trust - Erik Erikson in his stages of psychosocial development said that babies need a consistent loving environment which is fundamental to developing trust and lays a foundation for positive relationships and guidance. Studies have shown that if infants are picked up promptly when they cry, they cry less often because they trust that someone will always be there for them. If not they learn mistrust and that the only person they can count on is themselves.

Toddlers: Autonomy – Toddlers need to assert their language, physical and intellectual development. They should have frequent opportunities to exercise their independence in a loving and safe environment. One of the most effective ways to accomplish this is to hold family/classroom meetings. Each family/classroom needs to develop “House/Class Rules.” Allow toddlers to help write them. There should be three basic rules; 1. We don’t hurt others, 2. We don’t hurt ourselves, and 3. We don’t hurt things that belong to the family/classroom. At the family/class meeting there should be a list of “Chores.” Everyone needs to have responsibilities. For toddlers this may mean putting their dirty cloths in a hamper or putting their toys away. These can be changed weekly or monthly. Toddlers feel most secure when they know what is happening around them so the family or classroom should develop a daily and weekly schedule. This should be in picture form so that toddlers can read it. They can even help make the pictures for the schedule.

Preschool: Initiative – When exploring and trying out new experiences without disapproval from adults preschoolers develop resourcefulness which help them gain a deeper understanding of their own abilities. Parents and teachers should focus on children’s strengths and uniqueness. A way of recognizing these attributes is to have each child create their own T-shirt using fabric crayons or paper cut out in the shape of a T-shirt. Have them write their name at the top of the shirt. In the middle, they should write their strengths and all around write words that describe their uniqueness. An example might be Steven – fast runner, happy, sense of humor, artistic, friendly.

It is important as parents and teachers to find the good in each child and build on that. The more you focus on the good the better children will feel about themselves and the less behavior problems there will be to deal with. B.F. Skinner, a famous child psychologist said that “Actions that get attention get repeated.” Remember attention, even negative attention, is better than no attention at all, so encourage good behavior with positive attention. Encourage any positive attempt, no matter how small and set up opportunities for success.

BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE CHILDREN IS YOUR TIME